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Saturday, July 11, 2009 at 5:32 AM |
I can`t believe that I am still feeling down and will break down easily every night. I know it sounds crazy but I don`t even understand why I should break down silently. I watched the M.J Memorial Service few days ago and I broke down again when his daughter made the surprise speech. Luckily I was in my room all alone. I can bet you that if I watched with my mum, she would say that I am crazy for crying over such a small matter and it does not related to me whatsoever. Furthurmore, I do not want to cry in front of my Mom. I would make such a fool of myself. My sis and I slept around 1+ am yesterday just for the sake of watching M.J videos. Funny! You will smile and laugh when you watch his private home videos. Seriously. It shows the real side of him.
Had MT Oral last Thursday. I could not keep myslef calm. I just wanted to run away from the hall. I had no idea that there would be 2 invigilators. When I got to know it from Nabilah and Nisa, I wanted to kill myself. Imagine this, you need to have a conversation with 2 people in front of you,watching and staring at you all the way. Uncomfortable much? Hell yeah. The topic was about why and how teenagers get angry. Alhamdullilah, it was okay but I think I did it quite badly. Oh well.. it was over anyway. Coming up next, English Oral this coming Tuesday and I can predict my result. I am going to be seriously dead.
I am all alone in the house right now. The parents are out somewhere in Singapore while the elder Sis and her boyfriend are out to somewhere in Singapore. So there`s only me in the house. I don`t mind living alone as I can have my free time doing anything I like. Watcing Tv, eating, surfing the net, reading, dreaming and imagining things. I am a dreamer and when I am imagining sweet things, I will smile to myself. I can go to such an extent sometime.
Okay then, I think this post is getting nonsensical. I will stop here. Till whenever.
And when I look up to the sky, I wonder if you can see how hurt I am down here. I don`t care about Love right now as I am thinking about Life.
My dreams will blossom...
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